Sunset Swim

ALL IMAGES Roosevelt Group

After living with scoliosis for a little more than half of my life, you would think that I would be semi-comfortable with the crazy hump on the righthand side of my back. But the truth is, I’m not. Even though I’ve had corrective surgery to fix the majority of the curvature, I still have a hump and ribs that sit closely together. So, if you ever wonder why I wear dresses 24/7, that’s a big part of why. I HATE wearing clothing that makes my curvature more pronounced. So as you can imagine, finding a swimsuit, let alone wearing one, can just be…well, it can be daunting. Yes, I was a dancer and wore leotards daily. And yes, I competed for Miss Georgia {not once, but three times}. And yes, despite my participation in those activities, I still have insecurities about my body image. In fact, I would venture to say that my participation in those activities increased my self-consciousness.

Before I go on, I’m not saying that competing in pageantry or dance is BAD, because I am the person that I am because of my involvement in both. But I am saying that there are times in life when things can have a negative impact, as well as a positive one. Thankfully, for me the positive FAR OUT WEIGHED the negative, which is why I continued my participation. That being said, sometimes I struggle {like any other woman} with my imperfections. Mine happen to revolve around my spine, which as a result has affected my abdomen. As I grow older, I have found that I am not as carefree about how much skin I am revealing while wearing a swimsuit. Not that I ever wore skimpy ones before, but I have discovered that I desire to be a bit more modest in my swimwear choices, as it makes me feel more confident with my spine curvature, crunched ribs and awkward abdomen. However, up until recently, I have found it progressively challenging to find a swimsuit to accommodate my body type. In addition to my abnormalities, I have long legs, a bubble butt and for a lack of better words, no boobs. haha. I’ve been trying swimsuits on since late February. My primary focus was simply finding a one piece, but they just don’t work for me. I’m swimming in the top and the bottom is too tight. Oh, and not to mention, they are super tight on my back hump. I finally determined that high-waisted was my best option. And to my surprise, I was indeed right. Granted, it doesn’t fit perfect but hey, that’s ok, because I’m not perfect and neither is my body. As I continue to grow, I am constantly learning that life is not about perfection, but about finding peace. Often times we simply need to embrace what reality is, find a way to live with it and be at peace. For me, that is living with scoliosis. There is a high probability that I will never find the perfect swimsuit and while I may think that is the end of the world, it simply isn’t. In the words of my friend Emily Loftiss, “Make it work.”

So, I just wanted to share this story for those of you who may be struggling with body image in any capacity. Just because you have abnormalities doesn’t mean that you cannot find a swimsuit that makes you feel confident and beautiful. While it may take a bit more time, in the end, it will be worth it when you finally find peace and take that sunset swim.

“Joy {peace} is not a season, it’s a way of living.”

                                                    –Kalley Heiligenthal

P.S. Since finding a more modest swimsuit is a bit difficult, below you will find some pretty cool options via Nordstrom! The majority of them are either high-waisted or one-pieces.

Get The Look: 

• Aerie Bandeau Bikini Top (NO LONGER AVAILABLE ONLINE, Check In Store)
• Aerie High Rise Bikini Bottom ((NO LONGER AVAILABLE ONLINE, Check In Store)
• J. Crew Factory Cuffed Denim Short
• Converse Chuck Taylor Fancy Ox Sneakers
• Ray-Ban Clubmaster Fleck  (JUST RELEASED)
• Darling Boutique Little Initial Necklace
• LIPS: NYX Extra Creamy Round Lipstick (Color: Thalia)